My regular love-hate relationship with running is currently on a serious hate-level.
I still can't run. Wednesday's easy 3-miler brought the knee pain back out in full force. And it made me grumpy.
Running has been my 'thang' for the past three years and it's become as much a part of my life as eating, sleeping, wine and chocolates.
Moving to Brighton and making a new start, I always knew I'd have running to get me through those lonelier days. I scoped out a bunch of running clubs I was planning on checking out, hoping to make some new friends, and I knew I could always rely on running to make me snap out of a rut.
The fact that I'm currently not running at all has pretty much showed the proverbial middle finger to all the above and turned me (today at least) into a serious grump. Like so grumpy, that I'm even out-grumping G (famously known as grumpy G).
I've come to accept that I'll never be a super-speedy runner, that I'll never break any records, that I'll never win an age group. And that's ok. I like running for how it makes me feel, how it makes me look and for what it adds to my life. When I can actually run.
Without it, I'm feeling at a serious loss at the moment and am slowly but surely having to admit to myself that running Manchester in just over six weeks has become very unlikely.
I'm feeling pretty bleedin' angry too. Like how the heck did I get myself injured? I haven't over-trained, I didn't do anything stupid, I'm fit(-ish), healthy, look after myself. So it really, really, really pisses me off to be sidelined when I was hoping to achieve something so big (for myself at least) by the end of April.
So I'm afraid, I can't feel kindly towards the universe today. And on that note, I'm gonna go and feel sorry for myself a little longer. Then I'll head to the gym to see if I can at least get on a stationary bike pain-free and get my heart rate up for an hour or so...
Anyone fancy running Manchester marathon in guise of an early 30-ish woman called Jen? The bib's all yours.